Marriage and Family

Marriage and family surround all that is best and worst about medical school. Maintaining a relationship and raising four children is difficult at the best of times, and the stress of medical school merely adds to the chaos inherent to such a household. On the other hand, the support and love of a family helps to maintain the thin line between sanity and obsession that medical students often walk. Of course, I haven't said to which side of the line, have I?

My family did not "expand" for a number of years of our married life. The birth of each child, however, heralded a significant step in our paths toward becoming physicians. Lynne began her pre-med studies concurrent with the birth of our first child, Charles. With our second, Gwendolen, she began the application process. Michael was born three weeks before Lynne started medical school. Bethany was born at the midpoint of Lynne's medical school training, and concurrent with my decision to attend medical school.

This is my answer to those who ask, "How do you both do it?" It took four children for us to learn enough organizational skills to manage what we do! Despite the apparent demands of medical school and residency, we spend a great deal of time with our children because we make it our priority. This is perhaps the most important message I could possibly convey to anyone contemplating a similar move: Take time to have meals with your family, spend evenings with them, spend a day on the weekend for a walk in the park, take them to church, and find other activities to do together. It will be far more profitable than spending that extra hour studying. I am not advocating the neglect of one's studies, but a well planned session will pay far more in dividends than the usual, haphazard, "shotgun" approach.

I did not place particularly high academic pressure on myself. My expectations never included being at the top of the class. Expectations notwithstanding, I have done reasonably well. If I were to advise someone in a similar situation, I would estimate that the difference between "being the best" and passing with a reasonable margin requires a doubling of the time spent studying. This does not necessarily correlate with what is learned; only with the grade earned. The price of "being the best" is not worth the toll it takes on the family.

Is it possible to maintain family relations, pursue a career, and raise children? I wouldn't have it any other way!

last updated 3/15/96

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cwpowell@thechildrensclinic.net
"Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh."
Genesis 2:24